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Spring is here !!!! Its so beautiful out, I feel so revitalized from it. Wish I had more hours in the day to really enjoy it out there. I heard back from the local Peace Corps recruiter about them processing my application. Wouldn’t it be cool to travel to Asia or Africa to help others for two years!? I have not lost sight of my goals and am working hard on all of them. I don’t want to give out any information to early and premature so things will have to wait. I am right now planning my return to the journey, it may be awhile but the more planning the better. If I do join the Peace Corps, after the two years they give you funds to return to your life in the states and I would use those to finish the walk while waiting for another assignment. Thats if I enjoy it and want to return. I am talking to some people about keeping a blog up even for my experiences overseas and such. Again a little too early on these things.
I can’t believe how different my life is after doing something to change everything. You know how much time I wasted on things like video games before I left?!!??! I use to play 5 hours plus a day, it was crazy. Now I only pick them up for maybe an hour or two for a week! And thats just to pass short periods of time while waiting for a ride or something. Looking back it is no wonder why I was that heavy and still gaining, and no wonder why I remained depressed. I blamed my environment and what happened to me, but really I was the one keeping me down. It wasn’t that there was nothing to do, it wasn’t the small town I lived in. I was the one keeping myself from not going out the door. I am the one that made the dark environment. That song “My Own Prison” pretty much sums it up.
By the way, Harriet’s comments somehow are marked as spam now… The spam filter keeps picking them up. I don’t know if its because she posted too many at once or what. I have read them and think I can report them to the software as non spam and have them posted. If you all really want to see what she is saying I will try and put them up, otherwise I’ll just let the filter keep the boards clean. I could care either way really.
I went to my uncle’s softball practice and wow was that fun. I am thinking of asking to switch my hours so I can play, looking for anything at all to do outside and socially. Well, thats all I am afraid. Just trying to stay active, keep learning and planning my next step. Wish things moved a little faster, seemed like so much happened when I was on the road in a few months. Things are much slower in everyday life here… need more to fill my time.
April 7th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Jason, Thanks for reading my posts and not declaring them as spam. They really are productive thoughts on what your life has become. I do hope your new attitude will help with your future. If you decided to do the Peace Corps thing, then make a true committment and do it. Don’t let others interfer, as you allowed those on the walk to do…I say that those you met along the way who seemed to be your friends were just “hanger oners” who were living throught you.
You can do your own thing, if you have the will to do so. It is up to you…don’t flake out again, and say one thing, and then decide to do something else. Instead, be very sure you want to do this, And yes, I seriously have my doubts you will ever make it to California by walking.
Good luck on what ever choices you make. Prove to everyone that you are not a failure, nor a phony. By doing so, you will prove to yourself your own strength.
April 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
“By doing so, you will prove to yourself your own strength”… that is one good point you make. The only person I have to prove anything to is myself. Its always been that way, I just never realized it. Somewhere along the way I started looking inward as apposed to outward. I have a worth that I won’t cheapen to any circumstance. A good example is my strength through my faith. I am challenged daily by others but still hold true to myself and God. Simply modifying my actions or changing my thoughts to appease someone degrades myself in my eyes. Your doubts are fine, if you are right then you were right to doubt. If you are wrong it makes the sweeter the victory. Either way they only change your views and not my actions. I will do all I can to become the man I want to be. I value integrity, commitment and love wither you agree or not that is fine. I will be the first to admit I still have lots of growth. I truly believe that anyway who says they are done growing and are “perfect” are lying to themselves. We are all human and have faults, only one came with none.
As for the Peace Corps I am so excited to have that opportunity if it presents itself. I have done all I can, the rest lies with them. Don’t be fooled, it is a detailed application process and is very selective on its members. I had to ask letters of recommendation from employers to volunteer superiors to aid in this application. The only limiting factor is if they don’t take me. I DO want follow my career in PE/FD but will not pass up this experience and opportunity to do service for the Peace Corps. It will bring value to the rest of my life I am sure. And the same goes for finishing what I started, there is still so much value in it. Maybe not as much as I already have achieved in changing my life but the simple act of finishing has loads of value upon itself.
I will climb, and I will fall. But with my own strength and faith in Him I can achieve whatever He needs me to do.
April 8th, 2008 at 7:13 am
Wow Jason, you have really grown. Your post here made me nearly cry.What a wonderful place you are in right now. Its all coming together and what a sweet, sweet soul you are.It has been such a positive experience to see this change. Im one of those who loves people , and to witness this complete turnabout in you has been very satisfying. It takes me back to a lost time in my own life and some of your points made me rethink a few decisions i made.Yes, Harriett, some others have grown through Jasons experience and im not afraid to say so.Watching a life unfold would be influencial to say the least.IM happy you found yourself and are in touch with all that is out there in this vast world.
April 8th, 2008 at 7:38 am
Jaybo,
Sounds like your attitude towards life has really changed. Self discovery may be the only discovery that truly matters. For people familiar with the Pogo cartoon strip, he stated the famous line, “We have met the enemy and he is us,” comes to mind. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Not our job, environment, town we live in, friends, ex-wives, but us and the way we view things.
Good luck in whatever you choose to do. I hope you finish the walk to California but only you can decide whether that will happen.
April 8th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
jaybo, glad to hear you have found the time to like yourself. life is sometimes hard enough as it is. whatever you find in your furture travels remember the friends you’ve made on your journey, we’ll keep checking on ya and hoping the best.
April 9th, 2008 at 7:40 am
PC is awsome and will change you for ever!! Have patience and think each step through, emphasise any oversea or foreign experiences you have had….they really look for that. It took me almost a year to get in - twice. And the first time I was 50 years old.
RPCV Fiji, RPCV Botswana, RUNV (returned United Nations Volunteer)
Barbara
April 9th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
I hope they get back to you with positive results.
April 9th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Harriet, what a wonderful delivery of your last post… I’m glad to see that you have spoken your mind and made your point without the harshness you demonstrated in the past. I have chatted with Jason on-line several times and have always believed that he was very sincere throughout this whole journey even when his plans were not the best. I wish you had had the opportunity to get to know him better than just what is posted here… maybe then your outlook of him would have been different earlier on. Jason has already proven himself to be an extraordinary person by anyone’s account… and the change he has made in himself since June 18, 2007 makes him a success. I’m sure some of the folks he met so far have just been along for the ride, but that others are now true life-long friends. I still believe Jason WILL make it to CA and look forward to the many stories he has to tell along the way. Tell you what, Harriet… if Jason doesn’t make it, I’ll buy you dinner.